Sunday, January 27, 2019

Happily Ever After is Real

Hi Jacob,

Well, I have to write to you now. I married myself yesterday. You know, I couldn’t do it back when you were talking about it and did it. I could barely stand myself then. January 25, 2019 - I married myself. 

The past 2 years, since my dad died, have been - awful/horrible/fear/terror/resistance..  into less resistance/sort of accepting/sort of understanding/sort of being okay..  into acceptance/understanding/being okay/still some terror and fear.. into truly loving and caring for myself..  and more and better.  It has taken a lot of persistence, a lot of work/effort/willingness.

I don’t want to go into the backstory, just waaaay too much. I’ll just say that my mother was (and still is) a raging, physically and emotionally abusive, depressed (and closet alcoholic when she was younger) person to her children and husband. My father tried his best to help her. I believe he died because he just couldn’t do it anymore. He didn’t know what she did to us. He traveled for work and she sort of behaved toward us when he was around, and there was no way we would tell him. I was in denial of all this, because I wanted a good mother, like my friends had, and like..   how could a mother do that to her children?  I tried to help her too. And after my dad died, I tried to help her, until she disowned me again, but for the last time. With the help of my wonderful sister, who’s had ongoing therapy to help her, and my best friend, and a new friend (who I want to tell you about, maybe later).. and you, Jacob, your wonderful teaching, your love and care, I’ve come to accept her and what is, and see her as God’s child, on her own path. I can take care of what needs to be taken care of (her finances and such, which I am in charge of) from afar. I know there is (and was) goodness and love and care in my life. I accept it all. It’s all part of me. I know how to love. I know how to care. 

So, a few weeks ago was when I thought about actually marrying myself. And then I thought, Yeah, I’m ready. I am committed. I’ve been taking good care of myself and I want to have a ceremony. So I searched and found the perfect ring. Thought I would wait a couple weeks, find the right things to say and where. Then you posted what you posted yesterday, and that was it. Perfect!  

So I had a ceremony yesterday, read the two out loud. And cried and cried. I’m going to include some pictures here. Jacob, this is really really big for me. 

Oh, by the way, I’ve also been getting tattoos the past two years. Nothing way out there. The latest, which I got two weeks ago and is still healing, is this little sea turtle on my foot. (We’re barefoot or just wear flip flops mostly, here in South Florida.). And my toes are a mess because I run with no socks, and my middle toe is short and crooked because I broke it a year and a half ago. 

Jacob, you are wonderful and I love you and am so very grateful for you. 

My ring - The knot symbolizes union, and eternal bonds of devotion, a symbol for love.

Turtle wisdom - “Let go of trying to make something happen. Stay in the moment and all things will fall into place.”

The turtle totem wisdom teaches us about walking our path in peace and sticking to it with determination and serenity. Slow moving on earth, yet also incredibly fast and agile in water, those who have the turtle as totem may be encouraged to take a break in their busy lives and look around or within themselves for more grounded, long-lasting solutions.
Rafael (my turtle’s name) - “It is God Who heals.”

Thursday, January 24, 2019

A Practical Spirituality

Hi Jacob,

I just had success with one of those "sweaty 10-minutes conversations" thanks to the techniques you share. First, when the conversation was set up yesterday, I felt panic and started conducting pre-arguments in my head about why I was in the right. I caught myself before I got too far in to interrupt the pattern, however the energy around this person and issue was built up so big in my head they kept coming back. 

I wanted peace, so I tried something in addition. First, I aligned myself with God-in-me because, as you recommend and as I have found, it's the best place to start. That brought some peace. Then 15 minutes before the designated call time, I imagined the feeling I wanted after the talk was over: everyone happy and satisfied with what transpired and a plan to move forward. I also imagined phrases we'd exchange knowing things would be good. I saw in my mind's eye telling my mastermind partners how it all went down splendidly and also a year out when I was telling someone "Remember when I had that work issue and how quickly it got resolved and everyone was more than happy with the results?" It helped me feel really aligned and ready to go as I dialed the number.

Yes, I am happy and grateful to report it went great right from the beginning! I even heard my pre-aligned phrase "sounds good -- we have a plan to move forward" as it was said by the other person at the end of the talk. I am now floating with relief and feel good that there is indeed a plan in place to move the situation forward for the benefit of all. 

Thank you for your work and messages! 

Best, ~ K. 

Fruitage Continues

Hi Honey!  
Yes – this is still my email.  It will probably be my email forever & ever. Thanks for the mp3's! It is my pleasure to financially support your ministry and give back to you in great gratitude.

All those years ago when I first came to see you at PCRS, you truly helped me to gain the resolve I needed to make major changes in my life (divorce!) – and then to survive the fall-out, which included panicked thoughts that my ex would brain-wash my kids against me. (He tried) I did MAJOR Byron Katie then – It was none of my business who my kids decided to have a relationship with. I worked really hard to let go.  And of course, the better I got at letting go, the more my relationships with my kiddos improved. Crazy stuff!

Then my daughter hit her wall and was open to your message. We can touch on course principles together and we both get it. You’ve made a big difference in both of our lives.

Now I’m considering retiring after the next academic semester.  There’s a lot of financial insecurity that goes with that.  I’ve been told I don’t have a real “retirement plan,” which is true. My job definitely makes me up my game – I have to show up, on time, prepared, 4 times/week. (sound familiar?) I’m about to lower that bar. I wonder if I’ll ever get out of my jammies without a compelling reason?!?  I’m about to find out. Life is so interesting!  

Thanks again for everything over the years. I’m always interested in seeing you if you find yourself in San Diego. You helped me to get thru a very difficult time in my life, and helped to set me up for the peace and contentment I experience today.  I can’t thank you enough.

All for now.  Wishing you all the very best of everything.  To Infinity & Beyond!  Here’s to 2019!  It’s sure to be an amazing year for all of us.  Sending hugs & love…..

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Easy Peasy Baby

Hi Jacob,

I had to write because I'm super excited. The shit works and it works at the speed of light.  I got lazy with my "thinking" and my life was plodding along without joy.  I decided literally two days ago to turn this shit around. 

I got back to aligning using my toolbox.  I decided and put it out there that I wanted fun and was open to opportunities.  I decided that I wanted a break from my mother and her constant neediness.  I decided that I wanted to be happy and have the peace of God ALL THE TIME.

Well two days after deciding this stuff, I got a text from one of my daughter's friends asking me if I wanted her tickets to the taping of Celebrity Big Brother on Monday.  I'm a HUGE Big Brother fan and have been on the list for tickets for years so needless to say I am very excited.  On the same day . . .

A group of my friends and I decided to go see the movie Mary Poppins.  My mother invited herself to go with us. Right before the movie was to begin, the battery in her car died and AAA couldn't find anyone with the right battery among their service providers so she had to take her car to the dealership to get a new battery.  She couldn't make the movie.  Fun time with my friends minus my mother!  

I know most people wouldn't think much about this kind of stuff happening but I am aware and see the miracles where I would not have noticed before.  I have known this shit works but as time goes on and I become better and better at aligning, the speed at which this shit works becomes faster and faster.  Easy peasy BABY!


Sunday, January 20, 2019

The Magical Miracles Lab of Creation

Hi Jacob
I had a date last week. A first in a very looooooong long time. He's much much younger. I met him at the airport going back home. (I was there over the holidays.) Turns out we were on the same flight and he lives here! I had just written ( two days before) in the New Year's Journal that I was ready to meet someone. I was also clear as to what I wanted: Easy, fun, mutual, sexy, good energy etc.... ( look how much work that took me once I put it down on paper! ☺)

So here is this young ( yummy) guy. It's easy to slide into negative thinking of all kinds, but what does Source do.... gives me a movie to watch that I would probably never watch unless I was locked in a capsule, 30,000 feet in the sky with nothing else to do and no other movie to watch that I haven't already seen. 😊 It was the Amy Schumer movie I FEEL PRETTY!. Great clear message in that movie. The message was that it's all in how you see yourself. It inspired me.  I kept that top of mind and started to see my energy being attractive, matched with my fun factor being high. I was raising my vibration muscle.

Then I started meeting people out of the clear  blue telling me stories of women (who are  not famous) who have been or are in relationships with these younger guys. Yesterday I had an appt with my  esthetician and she was telling me how her brother-in-law was in a 9 year relationship with a woman at least 20 years older than him. I've known her for years and never knew that.  Again, I took as Source being at work! :0) 

I've been listening to a particular CD over and over again. I love it. You're talking a lot about Rev Ike, and how someone asks him to pray for him to get a fancy car and Rev Ike say "No, you're not ready for a fancy car", and tells him why.  Then there is a little boy 9 years old and he asks Rev Ike to pray for him to be famous so he can buy his mom a house etc.... and he does. I'm paraphrasing, but you reiterated what   Rev Ike said and what you always teach, that  you have to live it, believe it, see yourself in it before you can have it. I know this stuff, BUT knowing and doing are two different things. I do it in so many other  areas of my life, but not when it comes to relationships. I "decided" to change the MO

So rather than go through all the reasons why seeing someone this much younger is crazy, and blah blah blah, I instead was reminded to think "That's for me" and every day I repeated, "that's for me", and I could see it the way I wanted it ( but open enough that I wasn't attached to the form), and what it was going to look like and I basically said to God, you're in charge here, because I have no fuckin idea "how" this is going to happen ( you taught me I can pray that way😁).  I kept the affirmations going (out loud) everyday and would read the affirmation you have on dating, and I just kept repeating "I am worthy and I am enough".  AND what was noticeable to me was that  I was calm. Not in that anxious ( there's a serial killer coming to kill me) feeling😁

Tonight was date #2. It was so easy and calm, and easy ( worth repeating). I just let it be and I know my energy had shifted. I could feel it, and.... I felt pretty.....he even commented on my energy and youthfulness and how good I looked without any prompting or anything like that.  He was great, and what's even better, I'm not into the future, I'm just basking on what a great evening it was, and remembering that nothing is more important than that I feel good. 

Thank you Jacob Honey for all that you teach. For continually driving it home. 
I know this is a long email, but I just wanted you to know that there are those of us out here who do listen, learn, and practice, and love you so so much. ❤❤

Big Hugs and Big Love


Monday, January 7, 2019

The Source of Happiness

Dearest Jacob,

I found myself discussing how to ask for guidance with a brother and this story came out of my mouth. I don’t remember ever thinking of this analogy, it just came out as we were discussing the ego’s plan for salvation versus God’s.

When I was twenty-one living in Montreal, I happened to go visit my sister in a tiny logging town in British Columbia. It was so beautiful! Mountains covered by lush forests, rivers, streams all anchored by a gorgeous lake 26 miles long. The moment I arrived, I knew I never wanted to leave. I met a cute guy at the beach. He was fit and tanned with a sexy ruggedness I had not seen in those city guys in Montreal. Within two weeks we were living together enjoying our summer fling.

Within a couple of months I was pregnant. The shine had just started wearing off of this relationship. He wasn’t all that bright and didn’t much care for work. He didn’t look all that cute anymore and this beautiful valley now felt like my prison. I was miserable and felt trapped. 

We had a beautiful girl and she became my sole focus. When she was nine months old, we married. I took a job bartending at the hotel in town because now hubby didn’t work at all. He didn’t use drugs or drink...he wasn’t even lazy...he just loved to hunt and fish.

We rented a crappy rundown house and drove an old beater of a car. I was confused. How did this happen? I had been raised in a very nice style of living and now I was poor. I could not accept raising my daughter in this kind of poverty. I knew nothing of law of attraction, but that didn’t stop me from using it. I had made up my mind that my knight in shining armor would soon arrive to save me.

I daydreamed of him constantly. He would be successful, with a nice home and a new car. He would be a ‘real’ man and take care of us.

One night at work, in walks those gorgeous guy with soft, curly blonde hair and blue eyes. I had never seen him before. He sat at the bar and ordered water. He explained that he was born and raised there, had moved away and was now back in town. He had no T.V. yet and had come in to pass the time. The attraction was instantaneous. He owned a logging business, two homes and had a new pickup...check, check, check, all the criteria on my list. And he adored me and I him! I was divorced and married to him within the year. He was also a wonderful father to my 18 month old. 

I was blissfully happy. I drove a new SUV, we had a boat for the lake, snowmobiles for the mountains, we bought our dream home on three acres situated right on the river. This valley, that had felt like my prison was once again paradise. Ha about being at the mercy of outside circumstances.

When my daughter was ten, we moved to a nearby city so she could attend a good school and play soccer on an organized team. Hubby’s business had grown. He worked long hours, was sleep deprived and was experiencing intermittent depression. As for me, I was enjoying life. My daughter was more independent. I was golfing, going to the gym 6 days a week, I was fit, tanned and feeling pretty hot. I loved the male attention I was receiving. And yet there was a voice inside me saying there has to be more to life than this. Once again I was miserable and feeling hopeless. Hubby seemed to be growing resentful. He often complained to me that I used to see him as a God and that I didn’t anymore.

Our marriage was unraveling as my daughter entered her teen years. I was feeling trapped. How would I support myself if we divorced?

Texas hold-’em poker had started making its appearance on T.V. Hubby was fascinated. We started traveling to Las Vegas several times a year to play poker. I kept track of how much the dealers were getting tipped in a 30 minute dealing session. I was amazed.

Within a year, I was divorced again and my daughter and I were in Las Vegas. I attended poker dealing school. I was in a lot of fear over whether this was the correct life choice. I didn’t have any idea of how to get my green card. There was a song that played on the radio regularly... the chorus was “ Jesus, take the wheel. I can’t do this on my own...” It was the first time in my life I was surrendering to something greater than myself. I repeated it to myself over and over ...” Jesus, take the wheel...”

One night, I brought home a video from blockbuster called, The Secret. I watched it twice that first night. Wow. I envisioned my green card coming easily. It did. I used the tools to get my first poker dealing job. I was on fire.

A Course in Miracles came next. The moment I opened that book and read pages at random, I felt something in my chest expand with pure joy and recognition. Indescribable.

Almost 12 years later, I am feeling an inner peace I would’ve never known was possible. I now know this was my predetermined state all along. It took a while to get here. Of course I’m not done yet! I just feel there is no turning back. I feel an incredible ease in my life no matter what the circumstances.

Now here’s my recent insight.

I’ve always believed my life needed to unfold as it did for me to get here. Is that true? What if I had decided to let Spirit ‘take the wheel’ back when I was a fearful young mother? Instead I had decided I needed a knight in shining armor to ‘save me’ and so I manifested him. Could it be that my plan had created a fifteen year detour to my desired destination? Could I have saved myself some time and much self inflicted emotional pain by just turning to Spirit back then for guidance? 

It seemed that my knight in shining armor was God’s answer to my prayers. seems ego can make God whatever is the most convenient in any given situation.

I see this life path I’ve described, as a GPS route with the destination being vibrant, joyful, peaceful being. Perhaps I was off route with all my plans for happiness and being on a need to know basis is so much more rewarding. I am in an almost constant state of appreciation. I am very prosperous and no longer at the mercy of people and circumstances.

You, my dear friend, are a big part of this. Thanks to you and ACIM, God is no longer a genie outside of me granting me my wishes. Thank you for your work. Thank you for the great book reports that keep me on route.

The God in me is shining through.

Much love,